Societies often regress
over generations just as individuals making up any emotional unit. A regression in society is manifest in a
complex interweaving of forces. Increasing
anxiety in any emotional system creates an energy forcing a downward spiral. As the anxiety that starts the regression
forces the togetherness and overrides individuality, a focus on “rights” rather
than “responsibility” becomes the new normal (Bowen, 2005) . The more each person focuses on his rights,
the less he is aware of responsibility to others. Next, the emotional distancing progresses to
a state of emotional and proximal cutoff.
The multigenerational emotional process leads to institutionalizing
aging and death, which, in turn, exacerbates an intrinsic human emotion: fear
of aging and death. Denial (Gilbert,
2006, p. 102)
of human limits such as mortality lead younger generations to a delusional
mindset labeled “forever 21.”
“When the anxiety in a system increases,
people tend to do more of what they have always done, creating a vicious cycle (Gilbert,
2006, p. 110) .” Bowen Family Systems theory views the family
as an emotional unit. The family of
origin has a strong emotional and genetic effect on the limbic-HPA system “in
particular, the research in these areas indicates that behavioral interactions
in the maternal-offspring relationship can influence the neuroendocrine[1]
and behavioral development and adaptiveness of individuals (Noone, 2008) .” In other words, each generation passes to the
next its anxiety, individuation, and the level of ability to recover from
adverse circumstances as well as genetic traits. Bowen Family Systems theory postulates this
same principle applies to national and international emotional units, also
known as the emotional process in society (Bowen, 1985) . Over time, America has regressed emotionally
as a society and the fear of ageing and death are some of the symptoms of the regression.
The regression includes a growing
inability to legislate from a thinking, rather than emotional, stance and its
repercussions is one of many reactive behaviors leading to more emotionally
driven legislation ad infinitum.
The sixty-four-year-old Dolly Parton is
an excellent display of anxious reaction attributable to the regressive state
of the emotional process in America over the last five generations. The fear of ageing and death is a symptom of
the underling anxiety driving the emotions toward a downward spiral. The obsession for plastic surgery Dolly
exhibits, some might say flaunts, is the outward expression of the inward
emotional cutoff between generations (Murray Bowen,
1988, p. 242) . Two years ago, in a review of her
performance, the writer unwittingly noted another telling symptom:
At
62, she's part-grandmother (she riffed on her poor eyesight and mortality),
part-cougar (she ogled a dancing beefcake), and her sharp quips had the
audience roaring with laughter (Rytlewski, 2008) .
It is important to note
that Dolly and her husband, Carl, did not have children but did rear the five
youngest of her mother’s twelve children.
An emotional distancing between
generations in America, the generation gap, is a unique reality and part of our
heritage as a “frontier nation.” It is
likely that her need to appear forever
young is an indicator of a lack of differentiation of self. Typically, it is a symptom of a child
emotionally fused with her mother and the plastic surgery serves the purpose of
binding her anxiety. She was born on the
leading edge of the generation born in the forties, the baby boomers, resulting from the World War, another expression of
emotional process in society.
The daily reality of a chaplain in a United
Methodist Retirement home presents another example of the emotional regression
of society. A few weeks into the
chaplain’s new ministry in the continuing care retirement community one female
patient was not expected to live. The
two daughters were notified. At that
time, one week before Thanksgiving in 2008, the two children were too busy to
be with their parents for this nodal event.
The first daughter explained, with no apparent regret, that her son’s
wedding was scheduled in another state and she would try to get to her parents
in a couple of weeks. The second
daughter said it was not possible to travel across several states to her mother
in North Carolina before Thanksgiving but she would be sure to call her dad to
comfort him. The patient died and the
ninety-four-year-old husband refused to leave his apartment until the daughters
came to help him. This reaction to death
is another way to distance emotionally in an attempt to avoid their
multigenerational emotional fusion (Clinton, 2006) .
Both cases, Dolly and the end of life patient, appear to be very
different on the surface. Bowen Family
Systems Theory is a way of thinking about, and observation of, family and
societal emotional units. Bowen theory
is a way of thinking about and understanding the family’s emotional process.
The basic building block of any
emotional unit is the triangle. The dyad,
or two-person relationship, is unstable and therefore cannot handle emotional
intensity for a sustained period of time.
A third person, agency, or object is triangled,
enticed into the relationship physically and/or emotionally, in an attempt
to bind the anxiety (Friedman,
1985, p. 153) . In the first case, Dolly, plastic surgery is
the solution of choice to relieve the anxiety (Gilbert R. M., 2008, p. 125) . The family of origin has firmly established a
pattern of choice for triangulating to bind the anxiety over several
generations. Emotions occur at a
subconscious level. Feelings are a label
for when the person observes the emotions.
The binding most often occurs at an emotional level and it is possible
to learn how to discern, to bring into awareness, the underlying emotional
energy driving decisions and choices. The
ability to observe self and increase individuation is a skill that can be
learned (Brugger, 2009, p. 5) with the help of a
coach.
Over time the triangle, or triangles,
become overwhelmed with emotional energy and again must triangle out forming interlocking triangles. These might include the society and her
institutions, for example rest homes and elder care, in an attempt to provide a
quick fix for the defined problem rather than addressing the anxiety creating
the undesirable circumstances. The next
presenting symptom of a lack of differentiation of self that has expanded to
the ever-increasing interlocking triangles is a need for a means to pay for the
institution needed when families no longer are willing or have the perception
of being unable to care for their own.
The resulting national healthcare is yet another quick fix and indicator
of continuing societal regression.
Where did this process begin in this new
experiment called America? Why is America commonly known as an experiment in
nation building? What are the roots of
the emotional cutoff (Titelman, 2003) that has facilitated
the separation of generations to the extent that mortality is considered by
Americans as unnatural? Is there any
correlation to abandoning the former multigenerational housing common to other
nations? Consider the evidence.
America is a nation of immigrants that not
so long ago had an expanse of land and great frontiers for each succeeding
generation to homestead. In the
beginning, she was a largely agricultural nation and the abundance of land did
not prevent a diversity of ethnic generations from sharing ageing and death in
animals and humans. Before supermarkets,
death was also a part of daily living due to hunting and preserving food for
the typical family. Industrialization
and increasing population slowly displaced the agricultural economy. Today’s children are isolated from the ageing
process. It is the natural outcome of
daycare and other societal intuitions replacing family care giving. In today’s American society, each cohort has
an institution. Moreover, the various
factions each have an advocacy organization to insure all the other groups with
special interests respect their rights.
This, in turn fosters emotional distancing as well as cutoff.
America is still a melting pot of diverse nationalities. When a society regresses, scapegoating[2]
becomes the process of choice for binding anxiety on a national level.
"Young people in the United States live their lives variously
as young Asian American women, as working-class Latino youth, as young Blacks
or young whites, as young Southerners, as rural middle-class youth, as young
Puerto Ricans, as queer youth, and so on. This fragmentation facilitates both a
multiplicity of youth cultures and a wide range of hybrid identities.
In addition,
estimates show that there is a growing racial/ethnic divergence between
America’s elderly population and younger age groups, creating a new kind of
generation gap (Krayewski,
2009) .”
American society has accepted the
fallacy of the elderly as the defined patient in need of highly specialized and
expensive medical care. The result is
over simplistic political slogans as one party advocates killing grandma and
another sees the government as the ultimate solution to every cohort’s
perceived need. The unfortunate reality
is an unsustainable demand for resources (Gilbert R. M., 2008, p.
137) . The elderly
have become the scapegoats that bind societal anxiety. This same process has enabled the young
adults and their parents in American society to accept the forever 21 fallacy.
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Practice. Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield.
Bowen, M. (2005). Theory
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Center.
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for Christian Psychology , 3 (1).
Clinton, T. (2006). Why
You Do the Things You Do: The Secret to Healthy Relationships. Wake Forest,
NC: Integrity Publishers.
Friedman, E. H. (1985).
Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue. New
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Gilbert, R. M. (2008). The
Cornerstone Concept: In Leadership, In Life. Falls Church: Leading Systems
Press.
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January 25). Modern American Youth Crisis. Retrieved October 26, 2010,
from suite101.com:
http://www.suite101.com/content/modern-american-youth-crisis-a91994
Murray Bowen, M. E.
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Noone, R. J. (2008).
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and Stress Reactivity. Family Systems: A Journal of Natural Systems Thinking
in Psychatry and the Sciences , 8, 21-34.
Rytlewski, E. (2008,
November 18). expressmilwaukee.com. Retrieved October 26, 2010, from
Dolly Parton at the Riverside Theatre:
http://www.expressmilwaukee.com/article-4533-dolly-parton-a-the-riverside-theater.html
Titelman, P. (Ed.).
(1998). Clinical Applications of Bowen Family Theory. Binghamton: The
Hayworth Press.
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[1]
The author has a personal bias due to a rare neuroendocrine cancer and
participation in an NIH study for causality: http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT00646022?term=carcinoid&rank=2.
[2]
Scapegoating is the projection of anxiety in an attempt to avoid/bind/relieve
discomfort.
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